Hotel: The Brown Palace (17th and Broadway)
Hotel Bar: Ship Tavern
Style: 1800s not-chic
Music: Piano with an old lady wearing a Safari outfit including a safari hat
Girls tart up to look like: Not even close to applicable
Age Range: 50s/60s/70s
Booze Price: Reasonable
Signature Drinks: Not Interesting
Sexy Terror Alert: Also not even close to applicable, unless you think the Ethel Merman impersonator was sexy then you and I have different concepts of sexy and you are totally grossing me out right now pervert.
Thoughts by my fellow Americans: This little gem has got to be Denver's best kept secret.
Average length of time it took a lady to get ready before her arrival: Lady is a stretch, probably about 5 minutes or less, if you count washing your hands after you use the bathroom.
This place is fucking awesome. It feels so much more like Denver because nobody cares what he or she looks like. I was kinda drunk by that point and should not have had the ketel-lope signature drink because I might not have had as much fun had I stuck to water at that point.
The waitress was real nice, this place is not even close to pretentious and neither is the staff, probably because there is no time for pretentiousness when you have a bunch of mouths to feed at home and this staff looked like it had MOUTHS TO FEED.
The booze were not expensive and the food was sorta under the sea(ish) if I remember correctly. I totally want to go back and have fish and chips because the place smelled like vineger and not in the way the Christina Aquilera smells like vinegar or hot dogs or whatever it is that she is supposed to smell like. It smells like vinegar in the I could use some salt on my fish and chips thank you very much vinegar.
The absolute best part was the live entertainment. I was ready to sing the pianists praises just based on his performance alone - kinda showtunesy (which I don't normally like but it felt real real right in this context) and kinda rat packy. But then all of the sudden, this big bold voice sounding just like Ethel Merman starts beliting out the words to a song which may or may not have been the actual lyrics and the planets fucking aligned. I get it now. We were debating as to whether this woman was paid to sing or if she just had a few too many bourbons one night and started singing to the piano and has just been coming back every night since then and no one wants to tell her to stop because she is pretty great and she is one hundred years old. She was amazing. And, she was wearing old-school Banana Republic. Remember in the late 80s when you could buy an entire safari outfit including the jacket and hat. Well this lady knew that the classics never die and is still sporting the look today and while she didn't exactly fit in the old-timey ship theme she really rocked it.
I loved this place because there was more character and heart in this place than any of the other hotel bars combined. Everyone seemed truly to be having a good time, even if I was drunk.
UPDATE: looks like the answer is - gets paid in booze and attention
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