Shhh, It's too late to Root for Rudy

I know your a total Republican but I always admired how you turned New York City from a cesspool of originality to a Disney World (New York) with your harsh penalties for vagrancy and windshield window washing. In all honesty, I was fond of you because in a strange way, you remind me of a boy I made out with in high-school because I thought he was my beau but really he was the beau of a girl who annoyed me, but he didn't tell me that because he was a bastard, but aren't they all in high school. He's married now and would totally get his rocks off if he knew I mentioned him in this little blag, so let's keep it our secret, Rudy. No matter your stance on health care or immigration, you would have been better than George W. (P.S. You will always be President of 9/11 in my book).

Another Pageant Beauty Must Say Good-bye

Unfortunately, we must say good-night to the adorable John (Richie Rich) Edwards. Your sweet smile and long lovely eyelashes shall be but a memory in my giant brain. I don't know what you really stood for but you loved poor people and you looked good with crows feet - made you look more "presidential". I think you are the bees knees in cuteness. You were such a sight for sore eyes and you will be missed.

I love the picture below because it is titled (thank you -the end - which I think says it all.)

Obama's in the Denver and I am totally crushing

For some reason, I feel a bit weak in the knees this Wednesday morning. Is it because I am hungover from my dinner of red wine and Corn Chex? Nope, Barack Obama is in the Denver this beautiful winter morn. Why is he so mega-cute? I want to take a bite of Barack. I want just a little piece of him. How can you not love this guy. He has everything we need in a President. He's adorable, personable, cute, brilliant(how would I know that? I don't but I feel it, you know?) and charismatic. So, maybe I don't get his platform right this very moment. He is a 10 outta 10 on my Political Sexy Scale. Oh, if that isn't enough, master Bill will be hitting the Denver tonight!!!! I cannot wait. This is the sexiest year in political history. I must admit I am a little disappointed that the adorable John Edwards is backing out of the race today because it would be the icing on the cake to have that precious and precocious Edwards to sink my dirty little teeth into. At this point, I couldn't give a shit who becomes the next president - well, I guess that isn't true, Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee scare the s-h-i-t out of me. Je loathe religonaut presidents and these nut jobs are the craziest of the bunch. Even though they might not be much use to me, I still would like to have rights and I just don't see these guys really into that. I mean Mormons believe women are walking wombs and Baptists give me nightmares. But, who REALLY thinks that they will make it ahead of McCain. Although, it will be rather important to see who McCain picks to be his #2 because he probably won't make it past inauguration, isn't he mostly dead?

Anyhoo, long story short, I will be catcalling from my office today! Who wants to join me! Gooooooooooooo Obama! You precious little prince you.

Good Morning New Year, I Have a Little Suprise For You

This morning I realized something important about my attempt to rate different restaurants and bars in the Denver, for everyone and no one during the Democratic National Convention. If by chance you have happened upon this blog by some sort of accident, you would have no way to judge my expectations, my disappointments because you don't know me so how can you know if I know what I am talking about or how can I know what you necessarily like or don't like. Right?

As I was showering this morning, I was thinking of how angry little Hillary must be right now, having placed third in Iowa last night. The following is the actual conversation I had in my head whilst taking my morning shower:

I bet Hillary is one P.O.ed lady this morning. I wonder what kind of advice Bill might offer since he didn't even participate in the 1992 caucus - like how it isn't that big of a deal or how Barack is the pretty one but Hillary is the smart one. I bet they aren't even in the same city together...I wonder what Bill was up to last night. He is super cute for an older guy and seems like he would be super fun to hang out with. I would love to just take him out on the town and OMG I should totally write all of my reviews based one where I would and would not take Bill....it would totally be the most!

So for 2008 I have decided that in order for you the reader to understand me the reviewer it would be best to base all notions of good and bad on a third party we both know...Bill Clinton. If you don't know who Bill Clinton is I hate you for being stupid turn off your computer now you are a fire hazard.

The End

UPDATE: on second thought that idea is for losers so nevermind