Somebody mentioned to me the other night how annoying the term eatery is, which I totally agree with - and since I am annoyed at Steubans for kind of fucking up comfort food I am going to refer to it as such so here goes you shiteatery.I have been researching the shit out of Steuban's for the past few weeks (I think we all know that "research" is interchangeable with getting my supercrunk on) - and feel pretty safe in saying - that you should come for the drinks but leave before you pay 16 dollars for shitty fried chicken - I can tell you right now it is way more delicious at the unSafeway a few blocks away and much cheaper too - unless you don't care what you put in your mouth you dirty savage. In that case EAT away dummy.
Oh, except for the fries - they are tasty - and you can get them with gravy which I really wanted to do but thought it a bit heavy to have gravy as an appetizer - especially when it was about to be followed by a pork sandwich. In retrospect I deeply regret that decision. The pork wasn't bad - but it wasn't good - it just left me thinking - why am I eating all this pork? Is it because I have already sucked down 38 delicious cocktails? Yeah, probably . That not-so tasty pork gave me the strength to carry on down to boystown and watch boys(townies) do pushups in their panties - so I can't hate it that much. But I wanted to love it - for two reasons. I love pork and I love comfort food. They sure do sound like they go together don't they? Unfortunately, Steubans has everything you could possibly want in a diner except good food. I know that some people don't know the difference between a plate of dirty anuses and whatever they are frying up at Applebees but I know the difference and I would appreciate not eating them thank you very much. But, I am too hard on Steubans. The food isn't terrible, I just wanted it to be so much more. I obvs didn't hate it because I went back there this weekend - WHY you ask? Well now let's get to the good part.
Les Cocktails
I don't know what it is about this summer '08 but I cannot get enough cocktails (or white wine spritzers for that matter) down my throat. Unfortunately for Denver they still haven't gotten out of the tini phase. (PS - if you want me to punch you in the face order a flirtini in front of me - it is instinctual so I cannot be held accountable). Thank GOD for Steuban's because they don't do that and I love them for it. The cocktails are classic - some of them even flaming - and they are gorgeous, if sometimes a little strong. They also have the classics with a little twist - which I think in some cases even improves the original. They have side cars and pink ladies, mojitos and dark and stormies. WHATEVER you want. Oh, and if you want a mean Mai Tai this is so the place to go. Also, they have a large selection of low end beers as I like to call them - which might sound derogatory but I prefer them to Budweiser and will order a Mickey's when I see it available. They have PBR and Lone Star and Mickey's all for the low/high price of $3 so it won't break your pocket book you prude.
On the hipster scale I give it about a 7.5 because it has plenty of bicycle parking but it is not over hipstered like so many other places on 17th or Colfax. So you can be all - I heart nature and NOT footprints of the carbon kind - or whatever you hipster hippie types like to say.
I just figured out that this place is run by the same dildos who push Vesta Dippind Grill WHICH EXPLAINS EVERYTHING! Rachael Ray loved Vesta - and I thought she was in idiot once I tried it - so she will probably cream all over this place too.
Steubans is also located pretty close to downtown although not on the DNC side - but Denver DT is so small you can still get there very easily.
523 E 17th Ave, Denver, CO -
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